Self-Care: Where Do You Feel Resistance?
Self-Care seems to be quite the “buzz” word these days and for a good reason!
The question is: “Do you notice that you feel resistance when you hear the word self-care when you reflect back to yourself? Do you scoff when someone mentions their self-care routine or suggests you “should” take better care of yourself”?
If the answer is yes, the second question you may ask yourself is, “why am I avoiding taking good care or self-care of myself? Why does self-care make me feel uncomfortable?”
For years I used the word self-preservation as the word for self-care, as I thought the word self-care was selfish and indulgent. I had a cousin who needed 10 hours of sleep, and I used to think, “are you kidding me”? The reality was, she knew what she needed and how to take care of herself. She treated herself the way someone who loves themselves cares for themselves; I had a lot to learn!
I didn’t realize my underlying thought was, “I am not good or important enough to take care of myself.” Everyone else’s needs came first. I am, by nature, the classic definition of the “people pleaser,” wanting everyone to be happy and to have their needs met. Did this have to come at my expense?
Feeling exhausted, I finally took a step back. I asked myself, how do I balance my needs? How do I support all those that are in my circle of love, connection, and responsibility? Can we support our own needs as well as others? I believe the answer is yes. It takes time and a shift in mindset.
As I digress, yes, we are in the middle of a pandemic. Many of you are juggling work, educating your children, doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, cooking dinner, and taking the dog for a walk. I am sure I missed a few other things on your “to-do” list.” The reasons just mentioned are why this conversation matters!
It is painful to think that if this is you, that nowhere on that list was, hey, I need to breathe too!
The sad truth is, where we are today is our present new “normal,” and implementing self-care practices and building community will help you get through this marathon a little bit better.
Would you be willing to ask yourself the question, “What do I need right now?” Yes, I hear you, and I’m sorry I can’t deliver the remote tropical island with the piña colada; I want to go there too! Let’s try again, “What do I need right now?” You are the expert on you; it’s not for me to tell you what you need. Part of self-care is the discovery. While asking yourself what you need, you can begin to build your self-care toolbox.
Download my Self-Care Toolbox for a list of suggested self-care acts! This download also includes a space for you to create a list of your own.
Remember, you are the expert on you!
Some self-care ideas involve a lot of planning. Some self-care ideas are as easy as going for a walk down the street or taking a deep breath.
It may help to create a couple of self-care toolboxes that you can easily access at different times because we often get lost or forget at the moment.
The definition of self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
Self-care is NOT just another “to-do” list.
Your toolbox can be your secret weapon to learn how to take small steps to make your every day a little bit better for yourself and all those that you touch around you. The better you take care of you, the kinder, gentler, and more patient you will become throughout your day.
Implementing self-care is a long (and ongoing) journey of self-acceptance, self-discovery, and at times even challenging. You are not alone; if you notice resistance with the word self-care, notice it, sit with it, and ask yourself why?
I have learned through my journey and working with clients, those who value their self-care have a deeper respect for themselves and are more resilient. They understand the Ripple Effect of Self-Care in that how they show up for themselves helps them show up better for everyone that they touch in their circle of love, connection, and responsibility. Your circle will thank you.
My lack of self-care can show up in the cookie jar. Noticing my actions helps me identify when I am resistant to my self-care. I then need to ask myself the deep question of why? The answer is often a lack of sleep or self-imposed work stress. Yes, even the health and wellness coach has self-care struggles too!
Meeting the resistance you face head-on is an act of self-care all in itself.
The way to avoid burnout with your self-care is sometimes just “being.”
The word self-care is often used and rarely followed. In the world of COVID, self-care is one of the best practices you can do for your physical, mental, and emotional health. Wearing a mask is a form of self-care too!
What are you putting in your self-care toolbox?
Would you benefit from a community that is all about you?
Join our Whole Body Health Membership Community and take time to learn how to
Nourish your body
Practice self-care, self-compassion, body positivity, and to live gratefully.
Meal plan smarter- we cook together too!
