A Weight Loss Journey & The Lessons I Learned From 40 Years Of Dieting
Part 1
I wonder if you are like me, where for as long as you can remember you have been obsessed about your body and dieting? I consistently found myself on health and wellness nutrition overload, as all I wanted is to be thin so that I could be happy.
For years, my days were structured by points, calories, and the clock as to when I was “allowed” to eat again. I too followed many promises of the trending quick-fix diet plans that guaranteed either weight loss or instant health. Dieting has been my focus, on a daily basis, with countless and useless food journals since I was 12 years old. To this day, I still don’t know if this makes me feel embarrassed or proud. One thing I do know is that I am a dieting expert and I am fiercely resilient. It has taken years, 38 to be exact, for me to learn that I had been a victim of the diet culture. The diet world failed me.
There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by when weight wasn‘t an issue. I remember standing in line in high school with my stick-thin peers, acutely aware that I weighed more than them. It was always ingrained in my head that weight was part of my value. And if I wasn’t thin, I wasn’t of value.
My weight fluctuated throughout my adulthood. I learned how to lose “x” number of pounds and fast! There were times that I needed to lose the standard 5-10 lbs., and the time I needed to lose 75 lbs. The reality is, I have been 112 pounds and 203 pounds and every weight in between.
A morning I will never forget, I was late in my pregnancy, and had gained so much excess weight that when the nurse read the scale reading to me, my blood pressure shot through the roof. This resulted in unplanned and unwanted labor induction. My body had failed me again.There were years that I refused to eat normal foods. After my son was born, I went back to a militant diet without any carbs or wine. Baking bread for my family that I wouldn’t eat. Then the rebound would come and I would hear the constant chatter of the food police whispering in my ear. There was a never-ending stream of last suppers before a Monday when I would be “good” and back on my diet. It was miserable, but I was thin. For a while….
When an opportunity fell into my lap to get my health & wellness and personal training certification, I jumped on it. I thought I would help other people lose weight.
But what I really got was my life back. I learned how to eat like a normal person. I don’t diet and I don’t weigh myself anymore.
My whole lifestyle changed with freedom and I have healed my disordered eating.
I am going to share with you what I learned. I tried everything. The no this, the no that, the all raw, the fast-every-other-day, the never eat breakfast, the grapefruit, the Weight Watchers and at one point even the near-starvation diet. I had over 5 years of food journals. When off the diets, it was on to the “Seefood” diet… See food and eat it, as long periods of restriction and deprivation create a more intense desire to eat the missing foods or nutrients.
Through life experience and now years of education, I can promise you that as soon as you break the rules of these diets, those 5, 10, 20 50 plus pounds come back, often with a few extra to really make you feel awful. I am grateful that I have learned a better way. One of the best gifts that I have given myself is to learn how to listen, trust, and respect my body. I have ditched the diet, the food rules, diet culture and learned how to be happy, healthy, and confident at whatever size I am.
Part 2 below
Part 2
I am going to share with you what the various diets do and what I’ve learned actually works!
So…Here are the quick fix weight loss diet rules that DO NOT WORK.
I would know, I have tried them all!
1. NO CARBS!
No high or low processed carbs, just no carbs! No bread, no potatoes, not one bite, and nothing white! This includes no sugar, flour, pasta, or rice. And don’t even think about drinking carbs in the form of soft drinks, beer, and wine!
WHY?
By reducing carbs, the body will turn to burning more fat, but a zero-carb diet is extreme and impossible to maintain long term. Our bodies need healthy low processed carbs: fruits, whole grains, potatoes, and rice give us energy, and our bodies evolved to use such foods as our primary fuel source.
2. NO FAT!
Especially no real fat which means I ate the artificial chemical concoctions marketed to help me lose weight. Wasn’t that the healthy choice? Somehow a SnackWell’s or two was ok, as it had no fat, but then that broke rule #1, no carbs. Better forget the low-calorie SnackWell’s...
WHY?
Fat has 9 calories per gram, therefore, mental calorie math says that’s an easy way to cut calories. Why do we need healthy fats? They are needed to absorb vitamins and are our secondary fuel source for energy. In addition, healthy fats boost our immune system, suppress inflammation, and make food taste really good! Hello Avocados!
3. Only shellfish and white fish
No yummy tuna, swordfish, or salmon, and don’t even think about a burger or steak! (rule #9). Just plain old flounder and hold the butter and oil. Oh, you need a can of the spray “stuff” (what is in PAM anyway?) so the fish doesn’t stick, as it's too thin to grill!
WHY?
Back to calorie math: shellfish and flounder have 50-70 calories per ounce, while tuna and salmon have 150 plus! Unfortunately, this was limiting my protein.
Why do we need protein? It is essential to help support weight loss by building muscle, as muscles burn more calories, give you strength, and allows you to eat more. Protein also increases satiety. You feel fuller which helps you eat less. Hint, how you feel is the most important skill to learn on a health and wellness journey.
4. Only “0” calorie foods, (AKA air food)
Basically, that meant rice cakes. Later you can have another rice cake and for a special treat you can add a smear of peanut butter, only a very thin layer, almost see-through, but that breaks rule #2. That’s right, no peanut butter! Air-popped popcorn was also allowed, but don’t even think about putting butter on it. Just dry rice cakes and popcorn, but oops, now we have broken the no-carb rule!
WHY?
No reason other than calorie math.
5. Drink water, only pure water, and drink it before, during, and after every meal
NO ALCOHOL. I am not a big alcohol drinker, so this was easy until I started to admit that I missed a glass of wine in social situations, 4 years was a long time!
WHY?
This rule I did get right, hydration is imperative and does support long term weight loss. It does fill you up! It’s always the extreme that is the problem.
Why is hydration important? Water helps ward off dehydration and we often confuse hunger for thirst. Drinking 6-8 glasses of water daily is an excellent habit that supports long term overall good health.
6. Exercise, EVERY DAY!
5:00 am rain or shine, 10° below zero to 100°. I don’t think I missed a day! For those that don’t know me personally, I am cold when it is 75° outside, but running was what I did and I insisted that I loved it! The truth is, I LOVE to run outside, but only when it’s warm, better yet, hot. Fortunately, I have learned to love many outdoor activities that count for exercise.
WHY?
Regular exercise helped balance my food intake; calories in, to calories out. I did get the need for exercise correct, but once again it was the “rule” that was the problem. I would feel guilty if it didn’t happen rather than enjoying an active lifestyle with a variety of physical activities.
Why is movement and exercise important? It is one of the most important ingredients of a healthy lifestyle that helps ward off diabetes and obesity. Exercise also reduces depression, stress, and anxiety. Unfortunately, most of us can’t exercise-out all the calories we have consumed. Nevertheless, activity is necessary for a healthy lifestyle. Discover MOVEMENT that you enjoy, it makes the difference.
7. Don’t eat breakfast, you will need all those calories for dinner as you will be starving
WHY?
Mindset is huge: don’t allow yourself to be hungry until later in the day so you can eat a lot of the plain white fish. Plus, there was something about intermittent fasting being “good” for you...
This strategy does not support listening to your body, which is REALLY GOOD at telling you when you are hungry. I ate according to “rules”, I felt guilty if I ate breakfast and then became hyper-focused on the rest of the day.
Listening to our bodies and understanding when we need to eat versus want to eat are skills that can be used for a lifetime of healthy weight balance.
8. NO SAUCES
WHY?
Once again, calorie math and too many unknown ingredients.
Are there benefits to avoiding sauces? It depends if you are a “foodie” and feel deprived or not. I still avoid foods gooped with sauces but have mastered the skill of balance. A long-term diet is not about perfection, it is about getting it right 80% of the time. That means there is room in a healthy diet to enjoy almost anything in moderation. It’s time to enjoy your food. While some sauces are healthier than others, you will not break your “diet” if you enjoy it.
9. NO MEAT
WHY?
It started out as too many calories (back to calorie math).
The NO meat strategy is again, something that for me turned into a long-term benefit again, assigning a rule to it makes it prohibitive. I spent years avoiding red meat, most of which I truly don’t like, and now it’s a choice rather than a rule.
While science does point to a plant-based diet being “best”, in my opinion, best is a matter of personal opinion. If you enjoy meat, learn how to eat it in proportion to what feels good for you.. Lean meat is an excellent source of protein.
10. Lots and lots of fruits and vegetables, but none of the “starchy” ones
WHY?
I could consume large quantities, enjoy the health benefits, and eat them without guilt. No anxiety when eating veggies!
Eating a lot of fruits and vegetables was another “rule” I did correctly. They are loaded with vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, water, and fiber. Many vegetables are also a source of protein which is a hidden bonus. I now eliminate the word “rule” and eat them because I truly enjoy the taste. Roasted with some salt, a variety of seasonings, and olive oil, mmmm! No need to avoid the higher calorie starchy vegetables, I listen to my body and I know when I am full.
11. Count EVERY CALORIE and WEIGHT and MEASURE EVERYTHING!
WHY?
Diet culture taught me all about CALORIE MATH and “they” said 1200 calories a day was the plan. I will let you in on a secret, calorie math is typically WRONG and can vary anywhere from 10-25%. In addition, food labels take a lot of time! You are better off spending that time doing things that make you happy.
When you primarily eat real, whole, unprocessed foods, calorie math doesn’t matter. I have learned a better way to measure food is learning to listen, trust, and respect my body and feel my hunger and fullness. Had I known that, I would have had no need for rules. Whole foods, a balance of all macronutrients, learning to listen to our bodies and movement are really the only “rules” needed.
12. The answer is always, “NO, I CAN’T EAT THIS!”
WHY?
If your only goal is weight loss, then starvation actually works, but only for long.
The truth is, it’s not healthy or sustainable. Eventually, I would break a food rule and the 10 lb. swing would drive me insane. My kids called me the food police, little did they know the food police had a full-time position in my head. I constantly worried I would pass my disordered eating patterns on to them.
Through education and life experience, I now choose to eat what I want without guilt, shame, or wild weight fluctuations. I’ve lost the voices in my head screaming, “don't eat that!” and now eat more than I have in years. I no longer focus on those “last” 5 lbs, as they no longer have power over me. The actions and behaviors that I practice are what makes me feel good today,
Goodbye food police, food rules, the last supper, and diet culture!
As you read this, I hope several things stand out in your mind…
Diets come with rules and the rules come with guilt, shame and will likely be broken. The facts are that 95% of the people who diet and have lost weight, will regain their weight back. diet rules are not sustainable.
If you are ready to ditch the diets and begin a truly sustainable healthy lifestyle, schedule your free 30-minute discovery call with me today!
