Let’s talk “Belly Love”
The first question you may have is, “what is Belly Love?”
Belly love is when you take the time and ask your belly if she is hungry, and you listen, trust and respect her answer.
Most of us from the dieting world are very regimented about when and what we are eating. Eating is based on our schedules, the time of day, diet rules, or when we can fit it in. It is often thought of as an inconvenience. Rarely is it slowing down, taking a few deep breaths, and checking in with ourselves to ask if we're hungry. And if we are hungry, we often feel guilty or are annoyed.
What would it feel like to shift away from our schedules and the diet rules of eating and be able to change that relationship to one of kindness and compassion, based on listening, trusting, and respecting what your body has to say? The answer would be the removal of the guilt and the shame we have for being hungry.
For years, every time I thought about being hungry, I would hear the little voices in my head that I call the “food police” reminding me that I wasn’t supposed to eat, or I would question or admonish myself for being hungry.
“Belly Love” is getting rid of the rules, the guidelines, the nasty chatter of the food police, and taking the time to check in with your belly and to see if you're really hungry.
It’s time to take a step back periodically throughout your day, take a minute or two to pause, take a few deep breaths, and become attuned with your body.
This practice would allow you to start to foster a relationship with your body. You will begin to hear the signals or the newly awakened soft voice that your body is communicating. It’s similar to learning a new language.
At first, you don’t recognize the words, and then s l o w l y, they start to make sense.
The words become sentences,
then paragraphs,
and suddenly the words have context and meaning.
We need to learn to be patient, listen, and understand our body’s language with time. Speaking body is your new language to learn.
There's a big difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger, and this is where we need to practice, hone our skills of learning the language of our body so that we can practice “Belly Love.”
The goal is to tune in and to be able to identify physical or belly hunger from the emotional need. For many of us who are chronic dieters or yo-yo dieters, this might sound like a foreign concept, as you might not even understand what your body cues are for hunger. My clients often share that they have no idea what hunger feels like to them. It is common for chronic dieters to not know their bodies hunger signals from years of dieting and disassociating themselves from their body’s
An example of physical or belly hunger is a soft rumbling or gurgling in your tummy, it could have an empty feeling, or you might notice some lightheadedness. When we check in with our bellies, we check into our whole body to learn the difference between physical and emotional hunger.
While it has taken me years to notice the difference between my physical and emotional hunger, it now is very clear. My emotional hunger is an “angst” feeling in my belly. It is a tightness, which is a very distinct difference from my tummy rumbling or starting to get brain fog when I'm physically hungry.
When you check in with your belly, you're trying to listen and feel the nuances in your body, not the voice that says “yes”, you can or can not eat.
This practice is the beginning step to Mindful Eating. It is learning to be present and conscious with the messages from your body. What I love about “Belly Love” is that it supports the practice of Intuitive Eating. Slowing down and listening to your body supports
Honoring your hunger
Giving yourself permission to eat, when you're hungry, for whatever you are hungry
Learning to eat for physical rather than emotional reasons
Understanding the internal hunger cues that your body is letting you experience
While I am talking about trying to understand the difference between physical and emotional hunger, I'm not telling you not to eat for emotional hunger. When we eat for emotional hunger, or “food to soothe”, it releases dopamine and it helps us get through whatever situation that we are trying to get through. This has kept you safe and resilient for a long time.
The slowing down, breathing, and being present helps you to check in with your belly to understand the difference between physical and emotional hunger.
If you do choose to eat for emotional hunger, be kind and compassionate with yourself and think about it with curiosity versus judgment. Here are a few questions that will be helpful for the next time emotional hunger hits.
Did your eating experience help you feel better? (If the answer is yes, ask yourself that question a few minutes later)
If yes, for how long?
Were your difficult emotions still there when the eating was over?
What else could have helped besides eating?
The question “What else could have helped besides eating?” will take time and thought to answer. With time the answer will come and will help you to build your self-care toolbox. When you take time to slow down and breathe, and you notice it’s emotional, having a tool ready, in addition to food waiting in your self-care toolbox will make a difference in allowing you to respond vs. react.
Emotions are energy that comes from our thoughts that creates a reaction or feeling in our body. Slowing down and breathing helps us distinguish between the physical and emotional hunger and gives us a chance to respond vs. react. As stated above, food is the quick fix. When you slow down and take the time to notice the emotional tide rising, ask yourself, do you need to squash the emotion quickly, or are you able to sit in the “turbulence of the wave” and ride it out until the wave/emotion breaks and the energy from the emotion dissipates?
A few key questions when your feel your emotional wave rising is:
What am I feeling?
What do I need?
How can I show my belly some love?
If you are willing, think about “Belly Love” as incorporating your mind, body, and spirit? Helpful questions may also be if it is emotional:
What do I really, really need?
Do I need companionship?
Do I need love?
Do I need to feel safe?
Do I need to feel secure?
Do I need physical touch?
When you understand what you really need, this will help you differentiate between the physical signals of your tummy grumbling or the “angst” of emotional hunger. Your body is trying to tell you something. Remember to slow down, breathe, quiet the voices, and begin to listen, trust and respect the messages of your body. She is working hard to create a loving relationship with you.
